T-27 days

"So, apa perasaan kau tinggal lagi sebulan je?"

Diam.

"Ke tak ada perasaan pun? Haha"

Senyum.

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Hello, how are you guys? How was Eid this year? Was it any good? Hope it is :') Mine was good, had the opportunity to celebrate it in Kelantan. Alhamdulillah. Got to meet aunties, uncles, cousins, babies and so many others that I haven't seen for a long time. (This will happen to you if you're studying abroad and not a frequent hometown-goer) Managed to catch up and yeah, it was good.

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Kembali pada tajuk.

Menghitung hari ni boleh bagi dua kesan pada kau. Sama ada kau tak sabar, sebab tu kau menghitung hari. Atau kau kekurangan masa, jadi kau kena berlekas-lekas. 

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Teringat masa aku memanah dulu. Ada satu game, kena shoot 3 batang anak panah dalam masa dua minit. Aku ingat, masa tu kawan aku masa wakil gombak dulu datang tengok, nak bagi semangat katanya. So, masa tu dah hujung hujung game, aku dah tak ada tenaga sangat. Masa tinggal kurang 30 saat, and aku ada satu batang lagi. Aku ingat, aku withdraw bow aku, tunggu 'clicker' yang kat depan tu click, tapi tak click2. Pastu member belakang aku kira "10, 9, 8 ,7 ,6.." Aku tarik sikit lagi and shoot. Masa tu, nasib baik arrow masuk area kuning haha tengah tak tengah la jugak, so tak malu sangat sebab mmg masa tu aku sorang je kat shooting line. Semua orang literally tengah tunggu aku sudahkan arrow aku. Lepas je arrow aku sampai target, hakim tiup wisel, so kena gerak pergi ambil arrow dekat target board and catit markah. Tapi aku  kena patah balik belakang dulu sebab nak letak bow, sambil tengok member aku;

"Weh, thanks tolong countdown."

'Aku tak tahu patut countdown ke tak sebenarnya, sebab certain orang lagi tak boleh fokus and tambah nervous, nasib baik kau tak.'

"Oh, that countdown help me to push a bit more tadi. Aku tak larat dah haha"

'All good Sab, all good.'

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So, usually, I noticed, I handled countdown very well. During my studies, all these years, having a countdown never made feel nervous. Never affected me, never actually scares me. By having one, my productivity increased.

But this time around, it felt different.

I am nervous, (a good one though) but nervous. It scares me a little, but at the same time, I am excited. Counting days to the day gives me mixed feelings. Can't help it, I keep on thinking about so many things. The smaller the number became, the feelings got more tangled.

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That random sunset on Quadrangle grasses

Aku tahu, aku tak patut rasa takut. Orang yang akan pegang tangan aku nanti, inshaAllah, yang terbaik untuk aku. Dan aku doa banyak-banyak yang dia kekal yang terbaik untuk aku.

Cuma, kadang-kadang, malam malam macam ni, aku tak boleh nak elak. Untuk rasa asing. Rasa macam...haha aku pun tak tahu nak describe, cuma rasa sesuatu la haha :p

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"Sabrina, do you know that being human is a tough job?"

'Yeah I do.'

"Why? Why you said so?"

'Because being human, you have to make decisions. You have to care about your surroundings. You have to consider a lot of things. So yep, it's difficult.'

"Yes, that's why if you get a chance to be reborn, pray that you'll get reborn as an animal or trees, but not human."

Smiled.

'Actually no, if you ask me, I still want to be reborn as a human. There are just so many things so beautiful in it.'

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'Sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia dalam bentuk yang sebaik-baiknya'-- At-Tin 95:4 

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Coming back to the title?

Tonight, still 27 days to the next phase in my life.

May Allah ease everything for me. And you too. Aminnn.