I'm back but not really

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I tried writing something, thoughts or just a thought, I can’t.

I am sorry.

Things are just……….

Things.

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meeting up new souls

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Hello, hi! Thank you for dropping by at my blog, hihi. I’d really appreciate it, really (:

“Things we lose has its way of coming back to us in the end. It’s not always in the way we expect.”

- Luna Lovegood-

As I am writing this blog post, I just finished watching Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. My own way to stay awake while studying ‘cause I totally can’t stand utter silence. Haha. And basically the reason why I’m spending a few minutes to write up this post is because:

• I am too tired of studying, I mean, for today, enough of signal transmissions and semiconductor for a day 
• A friend asked me if he can read up my blog and somehow he got me here; writing this. Well done mate since you’ve gave me a reason to write haha *and procrastinate xD*! 
• I need to pour out a few of my thoughts on paper *well this is not a paper but oh well* so that I can free some space to get more input for my exams. *this is not even legit Sab ==’ * 
• I need to rant 

So, let’s get going.

I always had this hobby; to look back through the photos in my hard disk. To read up conversations with my friends, yes, I kept them. Why? Just to make sure that I remember all the details that matters because I know I always failed to remember a lot of things my friends told me. I’d really don’t want to disappoint them when they asked me about something and I forgot about it. It is surely not a good feeling, really, when somebody forget things you cared and you thought they cared too.

But then again, that’s why right? Why people always got crushed with hopes and expectations and they’ll be very devastated. Because they have their thoughts and they keep it to themselves; and unknowingly hope and wanting that other souls to understand prefectly. Sometimes I wonder, is it real bad to expect things from somebody you know and trust? I mean, it is not like you’ll expect something nonsensical from them, right? No? I don’t know, this expectations thingy, I think I had it rooted deep in my heart that I need to stop expecting and try to do it myself, and be clear.

Anyway, this is not what I want to put in words here, I wanted to talk about allowing someone/something new into your life. I was telling myself I should stop all these being nostalgiac and start looking forward. Moving on, so they called. ‘Move on’- I always had trouble comprehending this phrase. I mean, can you actually move on from memories? From things that already happened? Well, maybe I need to research a bit and write about it later. So, let’s KIV first.

I think maybe, just maybe, if you keep on looking at the back, you’ll get motivated and pumped up since you know you’ve been a lot better and can do a lot more. Or maybe in a situation where you almost give up, you’ll see how great you’ve once been and it’ll make you stop giving up. Different people, different take on this, perhaps?

I was going through my previous blog posts and I see some flaws in it and even some that I can’t relate anymore. Haha, ohwell, somebody is surely growing up. But what I want to share it that somehow I came across this,

Kadang-kadang bila kita terlalu selesa dalam kalangan kita hingga kita lupa. Lupa bahawa ruang untuk orang baru dalam hidup kita boleh membawa seribu pelbagai perkara baharu yang jauh lebih menarik dan awesome dari apa yang kita ada.

-KTM Kajang 2009 18012014-

This was my thought exactly at that moment. I remember this thought came up to mind after having a weekend at a camp and given a chance to meet new friends. A junior called me ‘kakak’ in a pleasant way, haha. Ah well, let’s keep going.

*#np Mungkin nanti – Peterpan*

As I may have sounded a little contradicting with my post before this, about keeping your circle of friends small; this is however something totally different. *Somehow the song is being a little bit distracting* It just that I think it is good to try to push yourself out of your comfort zone and start allowing people to come into your life. You’ll get to listen to more stories and learn a lot more. Never restrict yourselves; as you’ll never be abe to see things broadly if you don’t go and seek for knowledge and stay in your own cave so to speak.

……………………………………………………………..

I think this post is going to a lot directions now, haha, what I mean is, I feel like talking about trust and then go out and challenge yourself and at the same time about seeking knowledge. Honestly, I’m sorry, I think my mind is a little bit unsorted and a bit of a mess. I’ll get my quick escape soon after my exam finish on the 19th and we’ll see if I can come up with better written text about something more interesting.

Thank you for reading up to the very end. Maybe we should go for a coffee and come up with more interesting stuffs to ponder about? Omaigod, I can’t wait to share about a book I am currently reading, very interesting. Hm, maybe I should make a tag on book/film review right? *not a bad idea Sab but I sense you gonna failed to keep up with it hahahahah*

Anyway, should be off to bed now and get up early to library tomorrow. Thanks again for reading! (:

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p/s: I managed to cut the whole chicken into pieces again

I mean I’m no longer traumatised in handling
 the meat cleaver

Sometimes we forget to thank those who were giving

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I always noticed this;

We tend to listen to people who didn’t want to tell us anything and ignore the ones who always telling us stuff AND we tend to tell those who didn’t care and hide from those who cared.

It has been bugging me for quite some time actually. I’ve been thinking how these phenomenon seems to be quite normal and ordinary since everyone seems to be doing it, including me. The only times when I realised this is whether I was being unheard when I told something important to him/her or when I realised I lost my focus during a conversation with somebody.

And I realised most of the time, these were caused by distractions from our phones. I’ve been experiencing it lately. When people actually talked to me but they keep looking at their phones (I have to admit I did that as well sometimes) and were distracted to what I am saying. For a few times, it was not a big deal but sometimes it makes me lose respect to these people, lost my trust to them. I don’t know about other people but I keep on telling myself to work on it, to stay focused on whatever the other person is telling me without getting distracted.

And sometimes, I had this feeling that doing a multitasking job is not very efficient if you are not good at it. For example, you are doing your report/assignment/essay while talking to somebody. I sometime think that people keep forgetting what’s important and what’s not but just juggling between them on the very basis of multitasking.

I can see if you are washing dishes while on the phone, that’s pretty acceptable but to cook while on the phone is another thing, especially when the one talking to you is talking about something important and not just having a small conversation with you.

I am not trying to blame anybody here or saying that people who didn’t listen attentively are bad or whatnot, it is just that this habit is not really what we should practice. It is really bad when somebody is telling you their concerns and problems and you were not giving your full attention to it. It is really frustrating, really when somebody you expect to listen didn’t actually be bothered.

*****Somehow, I think this post is becoming more personal. =…= sorry, I was having some difficulties in writing my thoughts in order that’s why I can sense some unnecessary emotions there.*****

Anyway, things to think about; who am I telling to and should be listening to? Should they be the same person or not? Who did I ignored? Who was worth telling to and not? Who care and who didn’t? Who wanted my attention and deserves them?

These things, should really be properly examined. You might be neglecting people who cared, who are sincerely caring for you and not wanting anything in return. These sincere people who are nice to you because they nice, without any hidden agendas. I hope you can find those gems and would realise who are not. Because sometimes, I think we have been chasing something that’s not our to begin with and were ignorant enough to realise that we are letting go things that are truly ours. It is not wrong to chase our dreams and hopes, but make sure we secure what we owned properly and never ever forget and neglect what/who has always been there for us and with us.

I hope you will treasure what you have, and be thankful.

‘Live simply, love generously, care deeply, and speak kindly.’

Sometimes we forget to thank those who gave, so be thankful.

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p/s: might be taking up philosophy or

psychology for free electives. hm