Suffocated

Sometimes, when I am running, I am suffocating.
But I keep on running anyway.
And I just get suffocated.

Third person

Start: 1442 11092015

She was sitting alone in one corner of the common room. She had her ears plugged with ear pods, with maximum volume. James Arthur is singing Recovery to her and she had her head focus to her laptop. She was typing so fast as if she had all the ideas in the world to keep on typing. As if she had something going on inside her mind that needed to be written to the blank space.

The others in the room are basically being very cheerful and happy, playing ‘Truth or Dare’. Yet this one lady in the red-checkered shirt does not give a damn about them. She kept typing and didn’t even looked up when the other girls burst with laughter.

Actually she just got back from lunch with her friend. They had one-hour break in a small nice coffee shop near the campus. She kept on doing her stuffs, totally lost in her own world. Not sure what is so important that she does not care about her surroundings at all.

Her phone suddenly vibrated and she quickly take a look at it, as if she has been waiting for someone’s response. She frowned after gotten the text, looking more like a burden have been added to her. She felt very tensed that now when she typed, she didn’t smile anymore. She looked very sad and she had trouble typing now. She kept typing and deleting whatever she wrote.

She was totally disturbed by whatever news she just read because she stopped typing and let out a soft sigh. Slow enough as if she wanted to hear it just for herself. She started packing up her stuffs. She still had her ear pods on and James Arthur was singing Certain Things now. She smiled to the others in the room, briefly and she left the common room, wearing a happy smile on her face.

end: 1515 11092015

p/s: There’s no proof-read for this post,

Apologize for the mistakes

No anger, have patience

Start: 0123 06092015

Hellllooooo people!

How’s your weekend so far? Mine is good, Alhamdulillah (: excited for a busy Sunday tomorrow, haha yeahhhh. Anyway, let’s not talk about it, we’ll talk about something else.

So, actually, I was planning to dedicate a post about chocolate cake and churros, but I guessed it is not necessary since people can just google them and found tons of different more delicious recipes. So, here’s a picture of the two of them haha.

My initial intention of writing this post is to write what happened to me for past few days. A diary, if you want to name it. So, here it goes:

Dear diary,

It has been two days since I was left alone at home, yeah, all alone since my other housemates decided to go to Tasmania! I know rigghttt? They went to Tassie in the middle of a busy semester! Agh! Lucky you lucky you phd students. I know I shouldn’t be ranting about my busy schedule, I mean it’s not anyone else’s fault but myself, still I want to rant about it. Hihihi.

It was not that bad though, having the house for myself, *I’ve avoided any movies, or stories that are related to ghost haha or else I’ll be freaking scared to stay at home alone* since I’ve got so many things to do to occupy myself. Haha. Yelah, sebab kalau takdak benda nak buat nanti mesti pishang huhu.

So, Syalin is here in Sydney, with her mum and dad, so yeah, I’ll just spend some time with her tomorrow for lunch. What else? Oh yeah, I have finished reading ‘What I talk about when I talk about running’ by Haruki Murakami. It was a pretty good book, talking about life in general and somehow I kinda like his way of writing. I was thinking of giving this book to somebody, but I don’t know to whom. Haha, maybe anyone interested can tell me here and drop me a comment? Hihi.

Feels like I’m talking nothing intellectual here, not worth a post, haha. So, let’s talk about something beneficial. Okay diary? Okay? Good. (:

Last weekend, despite so many things to do, I just had to go to this one small gathering with a few sisters, we did the gathering at Kahawa in Newton. It was a good restaurant with good food at a good price! Anyway, we had a small discussion about patience and about being yourself. So, someone shared about Hadith 16 of Hadith 40 by Imam Nawawi.

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him):

“A man said to the Prophet, ‘Give me advice.’ The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, ‘Do not get angry.’ The man asked repeatedly and the Prophet answered each time, ‘Do not get angry.’”

Related by Bukhari & Muslim

        The hadith is basically about how we have to stay patience in all times. How we have to avoid being angry, especially when we are stressed and are under a lot of pressure. This reminder came at the right moment for me as at the moment I was busy doing things that I think I might have hurt some feelings by being angry at them. So, it was a very gentle reminder from Allah, alhamdulillah. We discussed a few tips to avoid being angry- we have to try to stay calm, we should make ablution, we have to clarify and check our facts before we jump into any conclusion, we stay silent, change our position or pray for patience from Allah.

                I still remembered a friend told me, in psychology, there is this theory that anger can be transferred. So, let say A is angry at B, then B would be angry at C in order to transfer the anger. So, the process will continue until it reach a person that can be patient enough to channel the anger to something else, or to ground the anger. And another friend also told me, “being patience is best at the start not at the end”, which means that it is not being patience if you go mad at first and start talking with anger and let it all out, then only you said, “Have patience dear self”.

Hence, I guess we should really try our best to stay calm and patience at all times. Whether we are at fault or not, we should really avoid being angry. ‘cause it will hurt a lot of feelings, and it is so not good to hurt those whom we loved. (: Then another sister talked about Kun Anta- Being yourself. I guessed I’ll save this one for later, inshaAllah. I should really go back to my quiz. Talk to you soon diary?

Love, Sabrina

I need to find new book to read then, let’s go to bookstore anytime soon or maybe just drop by at Fisher Library to borrow some books. Till then peeps, bye!

end: 0248 06092015

p/s: I don’t like cakes

but I like baking

HOHO

Inspiration

start: 1840 02092015

In the name of Allah

I was reading a friend's blog, it was pretty. It reminds me of a feel when I used to blog in the old days. Blog hunting and blog hopping during those nights that I can't sleep.

So, right now, I'm trying to finish a book, 'What I talk about when I talk about running" by Haruki Murakami. It was a decent book, suggested by a good friend of mine, Elia Nadira. It is just a normal book, talking about running, marathon, ultramarathon etc. I was reading a chapter when the writer actually talks about how he writes to keep his thoughts in order. I was a little bit absorbed with this idea 'cause the very reason why I decided to not write is because my thoughts are all over the places and I just can't help having my stuffs mixed up.

So, when he mentioned that he wrote to make his thoughts in clearer view and in order, I started to have doubts, no, not doubts, but hope. Yes, I have to have hope. I started to believe that I can try to organise my thoughts if I continue to write. I will never ever be able to organise my thoughts if I do nothing to do that. I mean, if writing is one of the practice to keep your thoughts in proper order, why should I stay away from it? Hence, here I am; trying to write a good sensible blog post about how I decided to write again.

A couple of days ago, I feel asleep on the couch in the living room, I guessed I was just too tired from classes and stuffs. So, the next morning, after waking up for Fajr, I did not go back to sleep, I decided to have breakfast and while having breakfast, I watched Nouman Ali Khan’s video on ‘Discovering your identity’. In the video, he was talking based on a verse from Al-Isra’, verse 83. Here’s the link to the video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV4LiyUwSbg.

It was a 24-min video, yet I found it very inspiring and motivating. Nouman

resumed: 2051 02092015

Sorry for the interruption; I was writing when friends came to me just now, as I was actually sitting in Carslaw learning hub, a 24-hour study group section in University of Sydney. So I had to stop what I was doing and catch up a little bit with my friends.

Anyway, as I was saying just now, Nouman mentioned about how much we have to DO SOMETHING in order to find ourselves.

“Until you put yourself to work, you’re not gonna discover who you are”

This simple sentence wakes me up; I need to do something, I should not just stop doing things when I THINK I can’t do it. Hence, I will not stop doing things anymore. But, I’ll do it slowly, I won’t rush into things. I won’t get too excited. I’ve promised myself, I’m gonna do things one-by-one.

Hence, here I am. Doing things I love, though I realized that I have a long way to go in order to write good stuffs, to produce a decent writing, to inspire others and to touch people’s hearts. I still got long way to go, and yeah, I’m gonna go do it. I am going through this, whatever happens.

I’ll read more, I listen more, I write more and I’ll do more mistakes, different mistakes so that I can learn more. If Allah wills, of course.

Till then peeps, I gotta go! Back to learning semiconductor thingy again! Yeay. *wears the glass of an electrical engineering student*

Bye!

end: 2109 02092015

p/s: I’m so not gonna stop baking

haha